Thoughts while Working

working is boring. & I'm totally bored being a book seller while waiting for transportation. 

This is why I am now typing this blog post...coz I've just updated& downloaded this app yesterday, pretty useful this app is now...in curing my boredom hahaha~

I started my first job when I was 13 (or something I don't remember) it was a Kilang job. Kilang means factory in Malay by the way~ sitting on a chair for hours, making calendar and not be able to chit chat. I still remember that I had dreams of me making calendar during that time. It was an awful experience I could say...the bell that rings and symbolises our working time every morning at seven.....it was a nightmare. The wage too, was so little... I quited the job together with my cousin and never wanted to get back again.

My second job was being a teaching assistant in a tuition centre. That job was exhausting for me because I was part time working while studying. I did not even have time to study for examinations, and I was Form4....so called honeymoon year but it's actually a crucial year to score well in SPM. But for my braces, I still continue working and eventually achieved my goals. I think I've mentioned this on one of my blog posts before.

They say you win some, you lose some...certainly I gained money for braces, but thinking back, I sacrificed a lot of my time.

This job I'm currently working on is book Seller in a school. I'm sorted to a school at Kepong, KL. 30 bucks a day but it's definitely not worth it. Since this place is far from where i live( Seri Kembangan) and the wages are not high. There's 2% commission for those optional books & stationery...hence I'm trying my very best to hard sell them. this improves my English and Malay language skills. It also helps me to gain experience of being a "sales girl". Well, something like that. 

Soon I'll find new jobs since the time period for this job is ending. I'll be receiving my SPM results too on March. Graduation night is on tomorrow. Ah, I look forward to it. Reason? I'm wearing contact lenses and high heels for the first time. I am also wearing long dress and makeup (WOW IS THIS EVEN CECELIA). 

Tomorrow night will probably be the last time I see some of the people who I used to see everyday in secondary school. Pretty saddening just by imagining it, eh? But this is one of the stage of growing up, no matter how sad am I, I've got to move on.

As what I said on yesterday's post, stay tuned for the photos. I'll try my best to look decent HAHAH! 

At least memories never die. 

2016 is ending

I've abandoned my blogger for almost a year, therefore the first thing I would like to do here is to apologize...although no one actually reads my blog LMAO.

2016 has been a year full of challenges, sweats, tears, laughters, happiness and memories. My year to sit for SPM. My last year in secondary school. My last year being a teenager because I'm turning 18 next year. My first time buying contact lenses. I got my first ever high heels. My first time calling 999/ the ambulance to help saving someone. First time in my life I determined to become more fashionable. Attending my once in a lifetime graduation night soon on Wednesday. I genuinely feel that me myself is growing up. Started earning money by working part time job. Started to have new year resolutions and dreams but still struggling about what to study in the future.

There're so much more little things that happened this year...and what I've learnt; what I've gained; what I've lost.... my last time; my first time doing all those things. 最美好的照片，是记忆的画面。I cannot put all them into words.... instead of writing them in this blog post, I guess I will just let all these beautiful, wonderful, even awful pieces of memories to remain in my mind... and I will cherish them for the rest of my life. 

Finishing SPM, it means that I am already in the turning point of my life. No one knows what the future holds. I'm seventeen. In this point of my life I feel happy; I feel that I am afraid, I am also perplexed and dazed. I believe soon I will figured out all the questions in my mind that is currently making me struggle.

Do not worry, because I am back to blogging (I think, hahaha if I'm not lazy). I will update about the graduation night with photos. Stay tuned! 

(⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎) 

I Have Braces!

years ago, maybe standard six. i started to realize that my teeth is really uneven and crooked, and very ugly. i started to be insecure about it but didnt make any move, maybe because i was still young, didnt care much about what others would think or how i look.

since primary school i have always wanted to be a host, tv host. my friend once said that : "you can be a really good host but you should really go fix your teeth first"

i did not feel very upset because i agreed with it. therefore, when i was form three, fifteen, i told my parents that i really wanted, or more accurately, needed braces.

if you know me quite well you probably will know that i am not from a rich family, in fact, my parents do not even afford to pay 7000+ bucks for me to have braces. hence, i started to save money since then. of course i did not starve AHAHAHA just saving money like a normal person.

last year, 2015, i was form four and sixteen. i started a job as a teaching assistant in a tuition centre. i was quite busy about that (my results also turned bad altho its not entirely because of working). those times were hard man, maintaining studies, tuitions, koko and work. SO TIRED, SO EXHAUSTED. :( fortunately, some students which are totally sweethearts, always there to warm my heart.

{^o^}

eventually i saved & earned enough money (2500bucks) and my parents finally allow me to have braces and TA-DAA. :) 

{:目}

don't magnify the photo ah HAHAHA

thinking back the time when i didnt have braces, even laughing out loud becomes something hard for me. even smiling for photos also, extremely unnatural. although i don't look any much better now but i am very glad....after two years or more i will be having perfect teeth, even thinking about that makes me so so delighted! :D

some people think that im following trends since alot of people that are around my age went getting braces. but bruhs, u know what had i been through? :'( *sobs* 

anyways, this is considered as a very privotal thing for me myself, and i would really love to share. so i hope you enjoy this blog post and stay tuned for more updates ehehehehe :3 <3

CNY is coming very soon and i am very excited about it!!!! :D

goodbye loves ~

half (not even) day at sekinchan

ok actually i'm pretty bored so i decided to update my blog :P & i think i can share some photos taken during the extremely short trip.

{limited quality coz i4}

 {ok this is really.....haha}

{I LOOK VERY UNNATURAL OK}

{another unnatural photo sorry to ruin your eyes :'o}

{really fat selfie ok ikr}

{finally a decent photo of mine taken by my brother *cries}

ok i guess that's all :P i look very ugly ikr :( it was a short trip, like a few hours kind but at least i got to enjoy some beautiful landscapes and eat good food. hmm :D

i wanted to share something i am proud of.

i finished five chinese novels in a row, the 红蜻蜓series written by 许友彬。very interesting and weird stories....:D

i finished an english novel. that's a novel, i guess? HAHA. i've never ever attempted to read an english novel that is long...(not that bed time stories kind) so that's something i should be proud of......XD the novel is written by Julia Green. the story is about a sixteenth years old girl (same age sia) growing, facing obstacles (not really HAHAHA) and something romance. i think. HAHAHA. i never thought that i could finish an english book by a really short time coz really u know my level *cries at the corner* 

saved RM 2500 in a year & half. will update about this soon~

that's all  for now! buhbye xo

★

what actually matters?

you guys probably have no idea what happened these days...sigh. i don't even know how to put those into words. too many things happened, and to be really honest, i just feel really tired. but at the same time, i enjoyed things, i learnt...

maybe photos could tell you more? 

not to show off or whatever but these sum up my sixteenth , still have more to go tho... :)

do you ever feel lifeless...or emo or started to realize that they are actually alot of fake people in your life, even tho she or he is your close friend??? 

do you ever feel like theres no one to talk heart to, everyone seems busy with their own life as time passes by, as we started to grow older???

do you ever feel like, you are too dumb to realize ??

or is it just me who feel this way?

sometimes i really don't know how to deal with fake friends 

i think its a time for me to learn

but i don't wanna lose any of my friends

i appreciate each and everyone of them

i'd rather be dumb

i'd rather not find out the "truths", never

with that, i might not doubt my friends, might not doubt myself

"did i do anything wrong?"

"why do the haters hate me?"

i am 16, in a phrase where you started to learn things about "living"

i want my life to be happy, fullfilled, not wasted

not full of sadness, doubts, and fake friends.

i don't know what to do

can you tell me what to do?

i always say, when i am sad, i blog. because blogging always makes me feel better. it does though :)

+ the form fives are having SPM right tomorrow...means they're leaving us...leaving the school...to achieve their own goals :')

我会舍不得你们的 很舍不得 尤其是sayang我的那些你们... </3

what will i be without the form fives???? how????

i cannot accept the fact that, months later, me myself will be a Form5. which means ... i am facing SPM, more obstacles, more challenges...

but as i said,,,it's time to grow, right?

it's time to grow, Cece

you'll be better 

you'll strive for better

you'll have faith to strive for better :)

i believe in you, Cece

yes, i believe in myself.